The doctor euphemistically told him that Mujin’s body functions was weakening and declining. It was unable to sustain his life and the consciousness of a person.
It was hard to say when he would leave the danger zone and wake up.
Mujin used one year to gamble on Gao Tianchen’s love, and spent another ten months to conceive a child of their blood and flesh, and then brutally abandoned everything he cared about and refused to wake up.
The little Gao was very healthy. Within a few days, he was able to abandon the incubator. This soft and tender mass inherited the deep dark pupil of Gao Tianchen, but it didi’t contain the coldness like his father’s eyes, but instead it was a pair of bright obsidian that brought warmth akin to the sun.
His hair was a delicate soft light brown. Gao Tianchen always thoughtless rubbed his hands gently at his hair and the coolness will spread across his fingertips; the feeling was extremely similar to Mujin.
He immersed himself in the complicated and overloaded work during the day, wearing an invisible mask as he ate and toasted with others; acting out a play according to the circumstances just like the beginning.
He numbed himself; Mujin was at home and he cooked a good dinner. The lamp was switched on and it emitted an orange light as he waited for him to return home. But every night, the silent and deep night would mercilessly remind him of the cruel and terrible fact – that beside him was empty. Without the other party’s gentle and quiet breathing, even the jasmine fragrance on the pillows and clothes was fading away.
There was a thick old book on the bedside cabinet. The dark brown cortical skin had been worn and discolored, but the corner of the book was clean and tidy. It should be a carefully preserved favorite.
It was Mujin’s diary, with a few thin sheets of white paper in it.
Mujin once left something for Gao Tianchen. At the bottom of the bookcase, it was a divorce agreement that had already been prepared.
His graceful handwriting ended with a signature at the end of the last page.
And next to the signature was an empty space. Like he was settling his company documents like usual, his pen waved like the dragon flying and the phoenix dancing. Just like that, all the two people’s ties and grievances was cut off.
Gao Tianchen could not imagine how Mujin felt when he signed these two simple words.
When he discovered the divorce agreement, Gao Tianchen also saw the untitled book he unwittingly took out last time.
It was unnoticeably pressed at the bottom of a pile of books, recording all the thoughts of a poor speaker.
Gao Tianchen still remembered the nervousness and shock when he first opened the diary. His trembling hands turned page by page, and the deep feelings and Mujin’s past were excavated bit by bit.
Every diary of Mujin was very short, and his handwriting had changed from the first time he learnt how to write, where it was unripe and puckery, to the beautiful and graceful handwriting now.
The handwriting on the first few pages was crooked, mixed with Pinyin and wrong words, and the sentences were short. At that time, Mujin was only four or five years old.
“It’s sad and scary, but I’m happy to be back. Fortunately, I hid my little brother in the wardrobe. They didn’t take him away and that’s good.”
Gao Tianchen felt puzzled and intuitively told him that it was not a trivial matter, but Mujin did not write more about the causes and reasons, so he did not know anything else.
Turning over, Gao Tianchen’s heart tightened gradually.
The following diary was also very short, every day was only a few words, but it told of their irrepressible secret friendship.
“Today, Tianchen came to our house again, little brother is very happy, I am also very happy.
During the meal, Tianchen told many interesting stories about his time in France. The atmosphere was warm, and he brought gifts for everyone.
Tianchen gave my little brother a ring, everyone was touched, I was also touched that my eyes turned moist, you two are very well matched.”
“Why does little brother had to suffer from this disease? God, why do you have the heart to part us with such a beautiful person? I don’t want to see my loved ones sad, if I can, I’d rather it be me.”
“Matching results came, thank God, little brother will be saved, the doctor said that as long as the kidney is changed, it will not be a big obstacle, Tianchen will not be decadent any more, the him without my little brother, it really hurts my heart to look at him. All right, my little brother will be better very soon.”
“Never hated my frail body so much. Allergic to anesthetic? My life will be in danger? What should I do?
I am a cowardly man who is greedy for life and afraid of death, but my little brother can’t wait, and Tianchen can’t wait too. He loves my little brother so much. I can’t imagine what it would be like for him to lose him.”
“I always know that all of you prefer little brother, and I don’t blame all of you for anything. Why don’t you let me change my kidney for my little brother? Isn’t it cost-effective to trade my life for a healthy brother? Why can’t you all be partial to this extent? There is no need to care about me.
My wish has always been very simple, I only wish for the people I love to get what they want, to attain happiness, even at the expense of all I have.”
There were still some many pages behind, but Gao Tianchen had no courage to turn over. The air in his lungs seemed to be drained. His breathing room was full of burning and stinging pain. He struggled to control his turbulent mood. His fingers caressed the smooth paper gently, and his whole body was frozen with painful heartache.
Mujin loved himself so miserably. From the silent pursuit to companionship, he only wanted a little happiness, yet he only received his indifference and ruthlessness, causing wounds to appear on his body endlessly.
He had never given him respect and trust, he wallowed in his imagination blindly, and almost destroyed such a beautiful and flawless person.
Gao Tianchen’s eyes were burning red, and he held these thin sheets of paper tightly with sobs. This was the first time since Muze left that he shed his cold and ruthless shell, and he cried helplessly like a child.